


I Think We Should Just be Friends with Sexual Tension

by bekkis



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-27
Updated: 2010-04-27
Packaged: 2017-10-09 04:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekkis/pseuds/bekkis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt's a year out of college and got his life in order when he gets a desperate phone call from home - his dad is sick. Kurt rushes back to Lima, expecting the worst, and stays to take care of his dad and to help him out at work. In the meantime, he runs into his old high school crush and realizes he's really not quite over Finn Hudson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [gleebigbang](http://community.livejournal.com/gleebigbang/). Title snagged from [Someecards](http://www.someecards.com/flirting-cards/i-think-we-should-just-be-friends). Thanks so much to Danielle for the beta&lt;3

Kurt fell in love for the first time when he was 15.

And it wasn't like his crush on Anderson Cooper, who was fierce and wore a good suit every night. Anderson was Kurt's first real celebrity crush and he watched 360 every night. Yes, Kurt cared about the state of the world and politics and stuff, but it was _Anderson Cooper_. He even YouTubed that awful reality TV show Anderson hosted way back in the day, but that just made him love Anderson more.

Anyway, it wasn't like his crush on Tim Gunn either, who like, every gay man should aspire to. For serious, the guy was just awesome. Kurt even made Mercedes and Tina road trip with him to New York City one summer to see him at a book signing, and Tim Gunn told him he looked fabulous. He slept with his autographed copy of the book under his pillow until he went to college. Tim Gunn was more like his idol though, than a crush.

No, it was love at first sight kind of love. It wasn't a silly celebrity crush or a little idol worship. It was the real thing.

Finn Hudson was the most perfect boy Kurt's ever seen in person. He's got this silly, adorable grin that makes him look kind of goofy but still really hot, and he plays football and always, always helps Kurt out of the trashcan after Puck throws him in.

"Sorry, dude, Puck's kind of a dick. You okay though?" Finn would always dust him off. Kurt always had to bite down on his tongue so he wouldn't blurt out an _I love you_.

Of course, now he's older and he knows better.

Finn Hudson was just a silly crush. He was just another boy in a long line of boys who weren't interested in Kurt. Just another jock with eyes for the head cheerleader or the world's most annoying President of Glee Club (Rachel won unanimously and uncontested three years in a row). He was over his crush by the time he turned seventeen, and had moved onto cuter boys who actually noticed him. Instead of pining, they became friends and Kurt left Lima for New York with extremely fond thoughts of Finn Hudson.

He's not a sixteen year old kid anymore. He's not going to fall for Finn Hudson again.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt likes his life.

Two years after graduating from college, he was lucky enough to nab a low level job at his second favorite magazine. It's not his dream job, it's not even close to being his dream job, but it's a step in the right direction. He has feelers out for potential funding for his own line. Basically, Kurt's life is well on its way to being perfect.

"I'm sorry, kid."

"It's okay, Dad." Kurt reaches over and squeezes his dad's hand. He's trying to keep the _holy shit_ look off his face. He's pretty sure he's not fooling his dad though, because his outfit is totally atrocious and his hair is just sad. He clearly would never leave his apartment looking like this unless the situation was dire. But it's his dad and after getting that phone call, he was on a plane to Lima without a second thought.

"You didn't have to fly out here. I know you've got important shit to do."

Kurt shrugs and fixes the blanket on his dad. He's probably gonna get fired for this because he's supposed to be at the office in three hours and his boss is going to flip a shit when he's not there. But he can't be anywhere else. It's just him and his dad, and he can't just leave his dad alone in the hospital.

"You need anything, Dad? Do you need a nurse?" Kurt jumps out of his chair to look for the little button thingy to call the nurse.

"Kurt, calm down. Just sit down, would you?" His dad grabs his arm.

"Sorry." Kurt sits back down and fiddles with the blanket again. It's just weird, seeing his dad laid up in bed and kind of pale.

"I'm okay, just sit down, would you? You're making me all nervous."

Kurt smiles at him, hopes it comes across as hopeful and happy and not, _please don't die, please don't die_.

"The doctor said I'm gonna be fine. Now would you relax and tell me about work."

Kurt takes a deep breath. "Well, my boss is totally insane..."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

His dad kicks him out after lunch, after Kurt throws a hissy about the atrocious lunch they try to give to his dad.

"Kurt, stop acting like a five year old." His dad smiles at the nurse, who really is too pale and is wearing a totally awful shade of lipstick. "Look, why don't you get out of here for a little bit."

Kurt opens his mouth to protest but his dad gives him the _look_. The 'Kurt, I'm going to yell in a minute, I don't care how long it's been since you lived at home' look.

"Fine, I'll go make sure you have something other than Hungry Man dinners in the freezer. I'll be back for dinner, okay?"

His dad waves him out of the room. Kurt adjusts his sweater, which totally doesn't match his pants because he was too worried when he left the apartment to grab a decent outfit. His hair looks so awful, he might need a salon visit to fix it.

Kurt sighs a little and leans against the wall outside his dad's room. He can hear his dad flirting with the nurse a little and smiles, thinks about how close he came to...well he doesn't want to think about it. Kurt's just about to push away from the wall when someone calls out to him.

"Kurt Hummel? Is that you?" Kurt mentally flinches before he turns around with a big old fake smile on his face.

"Oh, Quinn, hey!"

Honestly, he doesn't hate Quinn. He doesn't want to rip her face off or wish terrible skin on her or anything like that. But she's never really liked him and he has a hunch it has to do with him being a flaming queen and not that he wanted her boyfriend. The feeling is entirely mutual, because Kurt has never, ever forgiven her for making Finn believe he was the father and trying to rope him into an eternity of responsibility. He's not prone to violence, but he really wanted to punch her in the face back then.

Still kinda does, now that he thinks about it.

"What are you doing in town?" She kind of squeals and pulls him into a hug. Leave it to Quinn to be the big, fake, oh my god, remember when we were BFFs in high school, kind of girl. They may have gotten along in Glee and he was nice to her because everyone else was, but he really can't stand her.

Kurt rolls his eyes but pats her on the back before she pulls away. He smiles at her again as she fixes her scrubs, some awful pink color that clashes with her skin. He mentally does a little dance, because Quinn Fabray looking awkward always makes him happy.

"My dad's here," he says, pointing down the hall to his dad's room, not quite able to say why he's there.

"Oh no. Are you here for long?"

He shrugs and pushes his hair away from his eyes. "So you're a nurse now?" he asks, changing the subject.

She grins and fixes her scrubs again. "Who would've thought, right?"

Kurt gives her a fake smile and fixes his hair again. God save Lima from Nurse Quinn. He hopes she doesn't torture her patients too much. "Right, well I have errands to run and stuff. For my dad. I'll see you around."

"Of course." She hugs him again and Kurt rolls his eyes. She kind of smells like vomit and poop.

Quinn Fabray smells like poop. His life just got a little better.

He goes through his dad's fridge when he gets to the house and he tries not to bash his head against the fridge door. There's nothing resembling decent food in the entire refrigerator. It's abundantly clear that his dad is totally hopeless without him. Kurt was the one who ended up cooking at Thanksgiving and Christmas, because his dad is completely awful at cooking anything that doesn't go on the grill.

Kurt changes into an outfit that isn't completely embarrassing and fixes his hair before he leaves to make sure his dad doesn't starve to death when he finally comes home. The grocery store is pretty deserted, except for stay at home moms in really bad jeans. Fucking Lima. He's trying to find some decent fruit to talk his dad into eating when someone crashes their shopping cart into his.

He jerks his head up and he swears to God his heart doesn't skip a beat when he realizes who it is.

"Kurt?"

Kurt smiles for real this time, because it's freakin Finn Hudson pushing that shopping cart and he looks good.

Really good.

"Well, if it isn't Finn Hudson." Kurt tightens his hold on the carriage.

Finn grins even bigger and it still gets him weak in the knees over four years later. "What are you doin in town?"

"My, uh, my dad's sick." Kurt swallows and pushes his hair away from his face. "Are you still living at home?"

"Yeah, just for a few more months." Finn shrugs. "My mom's gettin' married in a couple of months."

Kurt's mouth drops open. "Wow, that's..."

"I know, right? It's kinda crazy, I never thought she'd get married again but she is! I'm gonna be her maid of honor...well, I mean, I'm not wearing a dress or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with a dude wearing a dress, I mean..."

Kurt smirks and _damn_ he forgot how much Finn used to ramble on and on once you got him started. "Finn, sweetie, I get it. That's really nice."

Finn grins that big silly grin of his and Kurt feels his stomach flutter. It's like he's 15 all over again.

"So I heard you're living in New York now? That's awesome!"

Kurt shrugs. "Yeah, in this little shitty apartment with a couple of roommates. My room's about the size of this shopping cart."

"I guess it's a good thing you're still tiny then!" Finn laughs and leans forward, and his biceps are pushing against his shirt sleeves. Kurt needs to take a minute for himself, glances around and sees some soccer mom watching the two of them.

Of course, because no one in Lima could dress themselves. Or see a piece of designer clothing outside of a magazine. Kurt knows she's staring more because he just screams "I love cock" and not because of the fabulous sweater he's wearing. Kurt coughs into his hand and looks away. Finn's watching him, looking confused (and god, Kurt knows that particular look so well). He looks over and Kurt can tell the second he gets it, because he looks over at Kurt and rolls his eyes.

"Some people really need to get out of this town."

Kurt laughs. "Oh, honey, I've had worse."

"Finn? I've really got a craving for tacos tonight." Finn's mom walks up to the two of them, holding a tomato in her hand. She grins at Kurt. "Kurt Hummel, as I live in breath!" She reaches out to hug him and Kurt can see Finn rolling his eyes behind his mom's back.

"It's good to see you again." Kurt hugs Finn's mom again.

"How are things? What are you doing on town?"

"Chill with the twenty questions," Finn says. "And I'd love to have tacos for dinner."

"It's my turn to pick," she says, rolling her eyes and turning back to Kurt. "Can you believe I actually have to schedule an evening with my own son? At least a week in advance?"

"Mom, c'mon."

Kurt glances over at Finn, sees his face turn steadily redder. It's pretty adorable.

"Aww, be nice to your mom." Kurt links his arm through hers.

"Since he's busy being an ass, I won't feel guilty for telling you that Finn still talks about you all the time." Finn's mom grins, nudging Kurt's side.

"Really?"

Finn groans, rubbing his face with his hand. His mom elbows Kurt's side again before pulling her arm away. "I think I've embarrassed him enough for one day." She reaches over and ruffles Finn's hair. "But we're real proud of you for getting to New York."

Kurt opens and closes his mouth a few times. Finn's blushing and giving Kurt that adorable, embarrassed smile that makes Kurt want to...Christ, it's like he's a teenager again.

"I just got lucky," Kurt says, shrugging.

Finn's mom checks her watch. "We'd love to have you for dinner, if you're free tonight. Or do you have plans with your dad?"

"Yeah, that'd be awesome!" Finn looks a little excited.

Kurt coughs into his hand. "He's in the hospital."

"Shit, is he okay?"

Kurt shrugs and stands up a little straighter. "Yeah, I mean. I think he's gonna be." He looks over at Finn.

"That's really..."

"Anyway," Kurt interrupts. He doesn't want to get into it in the middle of a supermarket in the middle of Lima. "I just needed to pick up some food. 'Cause my dad still fails at feeding himself. It's like he doesn't know what to do without me."

Finn's mom reaches out to hug him again. "Well, you're always welcome." She pulls away and pats his arm.

"Yeah, it was awesome to see you again." Finn grins at him, but it's not as bright as before. He reaches over and squeezes Kurt's shoulder and his hand is warm and _fuck_.

"Yeah, sure, I'll uh..."

Finn pulls out his cell and waves it a little. "Did you change your cell? I think I still have the old number." He grins and Kurt feels his stomach drop again, because it's been over four years and Finn still has his number.

"It's still the same," he says softly.

Finn grins and reaches over to squeeze his shoulder again. "I really hope your dad's okay!"

Kurt waves goodbye to them, mind still whirling as he watches them walk away.

Finn Hudson is still a dreamboat. Kurt is totally screwed.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Lima finally got a place that serves something other than fast food, so Kurt stops there to get dinner and a snack he can sneak to his dad. There's no way he's gonna eat McDonalds, even though he's super stressed and no one's going to expect him to be thinking clearly about what it's going to do to his skin or his hips. So he skips the fast food and goes for a delicious cup of soup instead, because when he was little, his mom used to make him really awesome soup whenever he felt sad and it always made him feel better. He even still has the recipe tucked away.

When he gets to the hospital, Quinn's in his dad's room, giving him dinner and new meds. She waves at him when he walks into the room, and his dad looks a little tired. He's eyeing the tray in front of him warily and Kurt wishes he could sneak him something actually edible, but he's not gonna mess with Doctor's orders, not after the last twenty four hours he's had.

"How you feeling?" Kurt drops his food into the visitor's chair and squeezes his dad's shoulder.

"The doctor'll be by in a few, if you wanna ask him," Quinn offers.

"I'm sitting right here." His dad pouts a little and plays with the edge of his blanket.

"Sorry, Mr. Hummel." Quinn flushes a little and Kurt tries not to smirk. She fixes his blanket and turns to Kurt. "I'll give you guys some privacy."

Kurt watches her leave and he turns back to his dad once he can hear her shoes squeaking against the hallway floor.

"So, how are you? Did you get some sleep? What did your doctor say?" Kurt starts to fiddle with his dad's pillows but his dad reaches out and bats his hand away.

"Kurt, I'm fine. Now would you stop worrying? Sit down and eat." His dad raises an eyebrow at him.

"I am sitting down and eating." Kurt holds his hands out in front of him in surrender and picks up his dinner. He pulls out his cup of soup and blows across the top.

"Soup?"

Kurt shrugs and stirs it a little.

"So, all your high school friends keep stopping by to see me. Were you secretly a popular kid and never told me?"

"What?" Kurt looks up at his dad.

"Well, that Quinn girl was here. God, she's annoying. I thought nurses were supposed to be nice." His dad rolls his eyes and Kurt can't help but smirk. He never really warmed up to Quinn either, after the whole baby debacle. Sure, he liked her about as much as he liked Rachel, but at least Rachel was up-front and honest about her insanity. Quinn was like crazy wrapped in normal girl clothes. He likes his crazy to be up-front.

"Who else?" Kurt carefully rips off a piece of bread and dips it into his soup.

"That goofy football player, Finn, I think? He was here right before you got back." His dad picks up his cup of Jello and his spoon.

"What? Finn was here?" Kurt almost drops his soup on the floor.

His dad shrugs and shoves a spoonful of Jello in his mouth. "Yeah, that kid with the goofy face? Really tall?" He swallows and shakes his head. "The kid tried to sneak in his mother's casserole. Like the doctors weren't gonna notice the smell."

Kurt opens and closes his mouth a few times. Finn Hudson came to visit his dad in the hospital. And brought him food. Kurt's about to find some notebooks so he can write "Mrs. Finn Hudson" all over them.

"Wow..."

His dad polishes off the rest of his Jello and throws the empty cup on the tray in front of him. "Yeah, it was pretty funny. Nice kid though. Goofy as hell."

Kurt nods, dazed. "Yeah, real nice." He stares down at his soup, his stomach all twisted and funky.

"You okay?"

Kurt gives his dad a shaky smile. "Great Dad, just great."

He hangs out with his dad for a couple of hours, watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy (which Kurt totally kicks ass at) before he gets kicked out by the night nurses. He contemplates stopping at the liquor store on the way home, because it's been that kind of day, but he doesn't want to show up at the hospital tomorrow with a hangover.

He calls his roommates when he gets home, tells them his dad is okay and he's not sure when he'll be back. He starts thinking about the long list of things that he's been avoiding thinking about, his dad's garage, how long his dad is going to be in the hospital, what he's gonna do if things go the other way...

Kurt sighs and breaks into his dad's beer, some cheap, disgusting brew that he wouldn't be seen drinking out in public. He contemplates taking a long, hot bath, but all his best shower things are back in New York and it's not worth it. He just chugs the first can to get used to the taste of terrible beer, and he's halfway through the second when the doorbell rings.

He groans and drops the can on the coffee table. He slips his shoes on and by the time he gets to the front door, his cell phone is ringing. Fearing the worst, he grabs his cell and just as he's hitting the "talk" button, he opens the door.

"Oh, you're here." Finn's standing on the front stoop and Kurt can hear his voice echoing through the phone. "I wasn't sure if you were home, so I thought I'd...yeah." Finn shrugs and his face steadily flushes.

Kurt ends the call and leans against the doorframe. There's a paper bag at Finn's feet and he's got a shy smile on his face. Kurt can't decide if he wants to kiss him or hug him. Preferably both.

"Did you wanna..." Kurt opens the door a little.

"Dude, yeah, of course." Finn picks up the paper bag and pushes inside. "It must totally suck being all alone and stuff, so I brought you some booze. And I thought we could, you know, hang out? Catch up?"

Kurt closes the door softly behind him and smiles. "Yeah, that sounds great."

Finn grins and pulls out a bottle of wine, Kurt's favorite to be exact. "I think this is what you like, right? I remember the picture on the front, of the water and stuff? And I might've, um, called Mercedes, because I wanted to make sure I got the right thing. And my mom made cookies, for dessert, and cookies always make me feel better so I thought they'd make you feel better too..."

"Sweetie, slow down," Kurt says, laughing a little. "You're gonna hurt something in a minute." Kurt takes the bottle of wine from Finn and walks towards the kitchen. "All my good wine glasses are in the city, but I think my dad might still have his old wedding glasses."

"Your dad bought wedding glasses? He doesn't seem like the wedding glasses kind of guy!" Finn flops onto a kitchen chair and watches as Kurt opens and closes cabinet doors.

Kurt shakes his head. "They were wedding presents. They were my mom's favorites..." He almost hates to use them but she wouldn't want them to sit around being useless. His dad always makes him use them whenever he's home, so it's habit to go right for them.

"Oh..."

Kurt turns around, glass in hand. "Anyway, they're gorgeous. I wasn't allowed to even open this cabinet until I was 15. My dad was always afraid they were gonna get broken." Kurt shrugs and opens the silverware drawer to get the wine opener. "Anyway, he always says she'd want them to get used."

"Need help with that?" Finn holds out his hand.

"Thanks but I've been opening up my own wine since I was 16." Kurt winks as he grabs the wine bottle. "You drinking this, too?"

"If it's as good as you say it is, sure." Finn grins and watches as Kurt opens the wine bottle, pulling the cork out like a pro.

"Oh, it's that good."

Finn grabs a fresh paper plate and dumps the bag of cookies onto it. Kurt pours two healthy glasses of wine before heading into the living room, Finn right behind him. Kurt collapses on the couch and tries not to spill any on himself. He hands one over to Finn and Finn winks as he clinks his glass against Kurt's and takes a sip.

The cookies are to fucking die for. They're soft and chewy and Kurt's thinking of ways to convince Finn's mom to adopt him. He hasn't had cookies this good since that bake sale junior year, when they had to raise money to go to Nationals and Mercedes had learned how to bake. He gained ten pounds alone trying to help her perfect her sugar cookie recipe, Rachel screeching at her in the background (in Rachel's defense, her "I'm sorry" cookies were tasty and delicious).

"Oh! I totally ran into Rachel in the city a couple times." Kurt flops his head over to look at Finn.

"No way. Was she still crazy?" Finn stretches his legs and crosses them at the ankles. Kurt would normally yell at him for putting his feet on the coffee table, but this is his dad's house and he knows his dad does it all the freakin time.

"Oh, she was still crazy. She was the understudy for this woman who Rachel said was even crazier than she is. If you're crazier than Rachel, then how far off the reservation have you really gone?"

Finn giggles and moves a little closer to Kurt and his hand flops down on the couch between them. Jesus, he smells really, really good.

"Remember when you gave her that makeover. She looked like an old lady trying to be a baby prostitute." Finn snorts, his fingers brushing Kurt's thigh. "I shoulda known then that she wasn't for me." He sits back a little and looks up at Kurt.

"You date a lot?" Kurt asks softly. It kills him to ask but they're both buzzed enough to be a little more honest than they might be otherwise.

Finn shrugs. "Little bit. Had kind of a shitty breakup couple weeks ago." Finn scratches the back of his hand. "I kinda thought that might've been it for me. You know?" He looks over at Kurt.

Kurt swallows and looks away. "So, what happened?"

Finn sits up, his hands between his legs and his wine glass dangling from his fingers. "She was way outta my league. I mean, she was funny. And really smart. She went to night school, cause she had to work to help out her mom." Finn pushes the wine glass onto the coffee table. "Anyway, it just didn't work out." He flops back on the couch, glancing over at Kurt.

"I feel you there." Kurt swallows, Finn's eyes steady on him. "I've been having kind of a dry spell," he says, shrugging.

Finn snorts. "At least you got outta this shitty town. I'm still living with my mom." Finn pulls himself off the couch.

"Hey," Kurt starts, and grabs Finn's arm. "You know what? You're not a loser. Maybe you didn't get out of Lima, but you're not a loser. You stayed here to help out your mom. You still have time to get out."

Finn grins, big and bright. Kurt's stomach is a little fluttery, it's that big. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. Besides, you went to college too."

Finn shrugs, but he's still smiling. "Yeah, but community college. I had to get help like all the time. College was really hard."

"You did it though. That's a lot more than other people who live in this miserable town. You're not a loser, Finn. Trust me." Kurt squeezes his arm.

"Okay." Finn grins back and holds up his wine glass. "Want more? You were totally right, this stuff is awesome."

"Fill 'er up." Kurt hands over his glass and watches Finn's ass as he walks back into the kitchen, twirling a little as he walks over the threshold. He can hear Finn singing softly in the kitchen and this boy is making it impossible for Kurt not to fall in love all over again.

He comes back with two full wine glasses and hands one over to Kurt. His cheeks are red from the booze, his eyes a little bloodshot and Kurt's never wanted the guy more. He's a little older and wiser now, but Finn is just still so...

Kurt sighs a little and takes a long drink of his wine. It always makes him a little maudlin.

"What's it like, living in New York?" Finn turns on his side and looks at Kurt, his legs stretched out over the coffee table again.

"It's great," Kurt says, smiling softly. "I have these crazy roommates. And our apartment is a total dump. I got hives the first time I went there, it was so disgusting." Finn giggles. "But I really like it."

Finn picks at a thread on his jeans. "I wish I had the balls you did to get outta here. Like, you just went, you know? I wish I had the guts to do that."

"You can leave anytime you want, you know that, right? You're not stuck here forever."

Finn shrugs. He's quiet for a minute, rubbing his finger along the rim of the glass. "You wanna watch a movie or something?"

Kurt studies him for a minute before jumping off the couch. "Yeah, sure. I think I got Star Wars around somewhere."

"Really?" Finn grins widely.

"Yeah, Harrison Ford, sweetie, Harrison Ford. I think even my Dad has a dude crush on him."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt wakes up the next morning in his old bed, with his old comforter and sheets, still soft and warm. But his mouth is dry and he's got a stuffy head, a stupid hangover that he wanted to avoid. It's not terrible though.

He stumbles to the shower and makes sure he follows his beauty regimen, because it's been two days since he washed his skin properly and his dad might notice. Seriously, it's how his dad knew the first time Kurt got dumped by a boyfriend, because his skin got all dry and terrible. He has to look at least close to his best or close to normal, or his dad is going to start asking questions and then it's going to get awkward.

He stops for coffee on his way in and debates getting a donut for his dad. It fits perfectly into his bag so he figures it's fate. He gets to the hospital as soon as visiting hours start and when Kurt gets to his room-

His dad is arguing with the nurse about his breakfast.

"What the hell is this? It's cold. And it tastes like ass." His dad's holding up a styrofoam cup with a little straw in it. "How the hell do you expect me to drink this?"

"Sir, it's what every other patient gets."

"Well, you must want your patients to die of starvation, because you'd have to force them down and shove it down their throat for anyone to drink this voluntarily." His dad throws the cup onto his tray. "What's a guy gotta do to get a decent cup of coffee around here?"

"Dad, seriously, calm down. You're gonna make yourself sick." Kurt sits down in the chair next to the bed.

"Kurt, c'mon. Would you eat this?"

Kurt looks over at the tray and his stomach turns over. Ugh. He wouldn't eat that if you paid him. "Well, you should've thought about that all those years you stuffed your face with burgers." Kurt crosses his legs and smiles at the nurse. "He'll eat, don't worry."

She smiles at him and hurries out of the room as fast as possible. His dad gives him the stink eye and Kurt just shrugs and pulls a paper bag out of his bag. "Don't tell anyone I gave this to you."

His dad grabs the bag and groans happily. "Oh man, you're the best son ever." His dad practically stuffs the whole donut into his mouth. "So good," he says with a drop of jelly on his lip.

"Don't make a mess!" Kurt pulls a napkin out of his bag and tucks it into his dad's hospital robe. "Now, what'd the doctor say? When can you go back to work?"

His dad shrugs and shoves the rest of his donut into his mouth. Kurt narrows his eyes and waits for his dad to finish chewing. He gives his dad a look.

"Dad, c'mon. How long?"

His dad looks down at his tray and picks at his food with the plastic fork. "Said it might be awhile."

Kurt swallows. He's been terrified that his dad won't be able to go back to work, that he'll be stuck with no one to run the garage and who knows what else.

"How long? Couple of months?"

His dad shrugs again. "Maybe. Look, don't worry about it, okay? I'll figure something out."

Kurt sighs. "Let me help you."

"Kurt, you've got a whole life. You don't need to worry about me, okay?"

Kurt rolls his eyes and grabs the remote off his dad's tray. "I'm not dropping this. We'll see what the doctor says." He turns the TV off, effectively ending the conversation.

If he has to move back to Lima to help out his dad, he'll do it. He just needs to get used to the idea.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt's dad doesn't let him hang out at the hospital all day. He kicks Kurt out around lunch time, gives him a list of things Kurt knows he doesn't really need, and leaves the hospital promising to come back around dinner.

Kurt knows his options aren't all that great. Either way, his dad has gotta stay off his feet for a few months and someone's gotta take over the garage until he can handle it again. Kurt's not gonna let him put himself back in the hospital. At most, he'll be stuck in Lima for a few months and then he can head back to New York. He doesn't have a job anymore, but he beat out a ton of lesser beings to get that job and he can do it again.

So he'll put his life on hold.

Not that he's happy about it. He's good and pouty in the middle of his favorite Chinese place, waiting for his takeout to be ready when his phone vibrates. He pulls it out of his bag and smiles when he sees Finn's goofy face.

"I'm starting to think you like me or something," Kurt smirks, and he can hear Finn laughing on the other end.

"See if I ever buy you booze again." Finn laughs again. "Alright, my mom is insisting you come over for dinner tonight. Unless, you know, your dad is back home. Is he? I'm sorry, I should've asked that first. Dammit."

"Sweetie, calm down. He's still in the hospital for a couple more days." Kurt shakes his head. "I've been going to see him around dinnertime..."

"Well uh..." Finn coughs. "I can go with you, just to go hang out. And then we can go back to my place for dinner? My mom's just worried and stuff."

Kurt crosses his legs and rests his elbow on his knee. He watches a group of high school girls walking from McKinley. "I think we could arrange that. Your mom isn't gonna show up at my dad's place with casseroles and cleaning supplies, is she? She's not that kind of worried?"

"You never know," Finn laughs over the phone. "Nah, I think she has enough trouble keeping me clean. Actually, I think you could probably take her in some cleaning competition or something."

"You wound me." Kurt giggles and then slaps his forehead. He's like a teenage girl or something, Christ.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt's always liked Finn's mom. She's nothing like his own mother was, but she's funny and tells dirty jokes over the dinner table, and doesn't even care that Kurt's queer. All through high school, Kurt knew he could go over to Finn's and she'd never give him dirty looks like half the town did. She'd just offer him snacks that Kurt never turned down, because even though they were really bad for his skin, she was too nice for Kurt to say no to.

Dinner is the exact same way. Finn's mom already has dinner ready by the time he and Finn get back from the hospital. She holds back from hugging him and just kind of squeezes his shoulder when he walks in the door.

"Everything okay?"

Kurt shrugs and pulls his jacket off, handing it over to Finn. "My dad's getting kind of restless. I don't even want to think about what he's going to be like for the next two months." Kurt really doesn't want to think about the fact that his dad is pretty much going to be unable to do any kind of work in the garage besides yelling at the rest of his staff.

Finn's mom makes them sit down at the kitchen table and serves them dinner, ignoring Kurt's insistence that he can serve himself.

"Finn told me you were staying in some tiny apartment in the city. I bet it's been a long time since you had a decent home cooked meal."

Kurt laughs as Finn's mom drops a plate of hot food in front of him. It smells awesome. "Actually, I made Christmas dinner last year, so I guess it has been awhile since I had something good."

Finn's mom frowns as she sits down across from him. Finn's already digging into his food.

"Kurt..."

"Seriously, Mrs. Hudson, it's fine. My roommates and I cook all the time. And this looks really good."

"Mom, seriously, let him eat," Finn says with a mouthful of food.

Finn's mom makes a face but Kurt asks her about the wedding and she turns back to him.

It's the most fun Kurt's had in awhile. Finn's mom is really amazing and keeps him laughing all through dinner. He gives her some ideas for the wedding and she sort of talks him into helping her out when he's free. He's barely put his fork down when she offers him dessert and a fresh drink, but Kurt begs off.

"Don't be a stranger, okay?"

She gives Kurt a hug before he leaves and Kurt lets himself sink into it. It's been so long since he's had a hug like this and he enjoys it, feeling less like a 23 year old with too much responsibility and more like that six year old kid before his mom died.

When he gets home, he sneaks into his dad's room. His dad's never really gotten rid of all his mom's old stuff, even though the drawers haven't smelled like her perfume in years. But he huddles down next to the dresser anyway, legs pulled up to his chest. He hasn't felt like this in a long time, missing her so fiercely it hurts. He fumbles with his cell phone, wiping the tears off his face as he makes a phone call.

"Mercedes, hey..."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

His dad gets released from the hospital the next day with strict orders to watch what he eats and to stay off his feet for a few weeks. Finn shows up right as they're getting ready to go, his dad changing in the bathroom while Kurt impatiently flips through his emails on his phone. Finn looks tired, bags under his eyes and hair flattened against his head, like he rolled out of bed and came right to the hospital.

"What's up?" Kurt tosses his phone back into his bag, getting up to zip his dad's duffle.

"I thought you might need help. Though, I think I maybe should've called you first." Finn rubs the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "You've probably got it all under control, huh?"

Kurt smirks and tosses his dad's duffle at Finn. "Nah, I think my dad's gonna give me shit about this wheelchair thing."

There's a soft knock on the door and Quinn pokes her head in.

The silence is a little awkward. Finn and Quinn buried the hatchet years ago, and they even tried dating again right before graduation. From the looks they're exchanging, it worked out about as well as Finn and Rachel did, which is not at all. Kurt gets a little thrill at the idea that his relationship with Finn is better than ever and these girls never managed to make it work.

And then he feels like a douche, because Rachel is sort of decent and was there for him when he was stuck in the city and didn't know anyone.

"Kurt, your dad's getting released today? I thought you might need some help..." Quinn leans awkward against the doorway, fiddling with the hem of her scrub top. She's wearing blue today and it's a much better color for her. "But I guess you already have enough help." She glances at Finn.

"Jesus Christ, where did all these people come from?" His dad comes out of the bathroom, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and hospital gown in hand as he walks towards his bed. He gives Quinn the stink eye and tosses the gown onto the bed. "Can we get the hell outta here already? This place is driving me crazy."

"Dad, calm down." Kurt checks his watch. "The doctor said he'd be by in a few. Now sit down and stop freaking everyone out."

His dad scowls but sits in the visitor's chair, eyeing the bed warily. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks like a pouting ten year old. Kurt barely resists rolling his eyes before he turns towards Quinn.

"Actually, could you make sure the doctor really is on his way? 'Cause I think he might start throwing punches if he's stuck here much longer."

Quinn smirks and pushes out of the room. Kurt waits until the sound of the squeak of her shoes fades away before he turns to Finn. "So that wasn't awkward at all."

Finn snorts and drops down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his face. "It was a messy breakup."

"I think that's an understatement."

His dad snorts and Kurt feels like an idiot, gossiping about Finn's old flames in front of his dad.

"Can you wait to get me home before do your little coffee talk thing like a couple of old ladies?"

"Sorry, Dad." Kurt flushes and checks his watch again. Thankfully, the doctor chooses that moment to appear, walking through the doorway with his dad's chart in hand.

"You sure are in a hurry to get out of here, aren't you, Mr. Hummel?"

"Yeah, well no offense, but the food here is terrible." His dad rolls his eyes and stands up. "Can I get the hell out of here already?"

"Now, Mr. Hummel, I just want to go over a few things with you. I want you to take it easy for the next couple of months. A heart attack is not something to take lightly, especially at your age. Take some time off of work. It's too stressful for you right now. I want you to meet with your regular doctor in a week to discuss your diet and what we can do to prevent this from happening again."

"Yeah, yeah, can I go now?"

"Dad, let the man finish. I'm the one who's taking the next month off of work to help you out, so stop your bitching and let the man talk." Kurt turns back to the doctor. "When does he get the okay to go back full time?"

"That's entirely up to his doctor. Typically, we say it takes two months to recover. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less."

"You know, I'm sitting right here."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Oh, we know, trust me."

"Anyway, if you have any questions, you can direct them to his usual physician." He holds his hand out for Kurt to shake before nodding at Finn and his dad. "And you can always call the hospital if you need anything else."

"Alright Dad. You can stop your bitching and complaining."

His dad pulls himself out of his chair and punches Kurt on the arm as he walks by. "I'm hungry. I want breakfast."

Kurt rolls his eyes and glances at Finn. "You up for breakfast?"

"I don't know, your dad seems kinda cranky." Finn eyes Kurt's dad warily. His dad is standing in the doorway, arms crossed against his chest.

"Nah, he'll be fine. And then he'll remember I'll be taking over for him at work and he'll be miserable again."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt gets up early the Monday after his dad comes home from the hospital. It's been an unbearable couple of days. His dad has sat around the house, bitching about his back, about hurting all over, how bored he is, how bland the food is, hasn't Kurt learned how to cook better food living in the city, blah blah blah. Kurt's basically going crazy, listening to his dad bitch. He gets that his dad is bored and hates being stuck in the house all day, but it's not like it's a cake walk for Kurt either.

He practically grew up in this garage, helping his dad out after school and doing his homework while his dad finished his latest project. He's still good with cars, managed to fix Finn's piece of crap car all through high school whenever it would shit the bed and Finn couldn't afford to pay to fix it. His dad wanted him to take over the garage for years, still does actually, but Kurt would rather do what he loves than be stuck in this town just to keep his dad's garage.

Kurt's starting to rethink this decision when he gets into the garage an hour before the rest of the crew and sees what his dad's office has turned into.

When Kurt used to hang out there after school, his dad's office was nice and organized. Kurt helped his dad with bookkeeping and kept things nice and neat, making sure his dad was bleeding money because of his terrible accounting skills. His dad was always good with cars, but for a couple of years there, he lost his business partner and had to keep the books himself. Kurt was great with numbers and helped his dad out till he went to college. The garage stinks, and now his office looks like something exploded in it, paperwork, half drunk cups of coffee everywhere.

Kurt doesn't know what to do first. It's kind of terrifying.

"Dad, what the hell have you been doing for the last four years?"

Kurt sighs, goes in search of some trash bags, and gets to work.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

"So did you completely fuck up my office?"

His dad drops a plate in front of him. It's actually a healthy dinner, though he pokes warily at the steak.

"I wasn't aware it could get more fucked up than it already was. I thought you were going to find me dead under a pile of trash in a week." Kurt cuts into the steak and frowns. "This steak is a little uh..."

"Shut up and eat it. You need more red meat in your diet. It's nice and rare, and since I can't eat it, you're gonna shut your mouth and eat it instead." His dad drops into the chair across from Kurt and starts stabbing his salad. His dad is eating a salad. Voluntarily. Kurt's world is all topsy turvy.

Kurt's quiet for a few minutes, cutting up his steak and dipping it into sauce. His dad sighs a little as he eats his salad, trying to eat more of the chicken than the actual lettuce. Kurt bites back a smirk.

"So, how's it been?"

"It's been worse." Kurt eats a piece of steak before he continues. "You did good with the finances while I was gone." Even though it was put in an order that made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever, his dad really did seem to have a bookkeeping system. He didn't want to fuck with it too much, so he mostly cleaned up the old paperwork and cleaned out his dad's old filing cabinet.

"Kinda had to learn how to do all that shit." His dad shrugs and picks at a piece of tomato. "Anyway, it was about time I figure out how to do all that anyway."

"So, your office is actually clean now." Kurt pushes away his plate.

"Yeah, yeah, you probably screwed it all up. I won't be able to find anything anymore." His dad scowls, but it looks more like he's trying not to smile than looking pissed off. "So, hey, Finn hasn't been by in a few days."

Kurt shrugs and gets up from his seat, looking for his wine. "He does have an actual life, you know."

"Yeah, I just thought maybe you two..."

Kurt turns around and leans against the cabinet. "Two of us what?"

"I don't know, maybe you two had a little thing going on."

Kurt tries to suppress a laugh and fails. "Oh, Dad, no way. He's totally straight. Always has been, always will."

"Oh. 'Cause it kinda seemed like..."

"What? We're friends. And I think he doesn't really have that much to do around here."

"Oh. Well, I guess I was wrong."

"It's okay, Dad. You know I can be friends with a boy without dating him, right?" Kurt smirks.

"I know! I'm just gonna shut up now, if you're gonna keep picking on me." His dad flushes and gets up from the table. "Clean up dinner, would you?"

Kurt turns towards the cabinet and grabs himself a wine glass. "Yeah, Dad, don't worry about it."


	2. Chapter 2

Finn calls him around lunch time on Friday.

"I need to get drunk."

Kurt giggles and sits back in his dad's office chair, legs crossed. "Bad week?" He glances out of the office window and watches as his dad waves his arms at one of his workers. Lord knows what he's yelling about now. Yesterday it was because the guy's overalls weren't dirty enough, so clearly he wasn't working hard enough. Kurt doesn't even know anymore. He's learned to stay the hell away from his dad when he gets in his moods.

"Worst week ever. Please tell me you like bars. I need to go to a bar tonight."

"Oh ,Finn, I like bars. I am a big fan of bars. I like drinking in bars. I like dancing in bars. I like picking up boys in bars. I'm just not so sure the bars here in Lima will like me." He's pretty sure the openly gay population is pretty low in this town and him going to a bar is just asking for trouble.

"Are there, like, gay bars? We could go to one. If we go to a regular bar, then girls are just gonna hit on me."

Kurt bites his lip. "And you think you won't get hit on at a gay bar?"

"Uh, well won't they just think I'm your boyfriend?" Finn sounds adorably confused.

Not that he doesn't appreciate the gesture, but he's not sure he wants to see Finn in a bar getting hit on by other guys. "Not necessarily. But we can go if you want."

"I'm totally...what's the word? I'm secure in my manliness. I can be seen drinking a girly drink in a gay bar."

Kurt giggles at that. "Oh, we have to go now, because I need to see this. I'll be done here by 5, but then I need to shower the garage smell off of me."

"Just call me when you're ready. I can take a nap or somethin'."

Kurt's distracted the rest of the day. There's a place not too far out of Lima that's gay friendly, but he's not entirely sure how serious Finn was about going to one. It's one thing to say you're secure enough to be seen in a gay bar, it's another to actually go to one. He had this friend in college who said that and then high tailed it out of the bar when he kept getting hit on. And he knows Finn's gonna get hit on. He's still fucking adorable.

This is probably a bad idea.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt takes forever to get ready, he knows this. But he's been back in Lima for almost a month and he hasn't been able to let loose in a long time. He misses going out and just having a good time. He's reduced to dancing in his car on the way to work every morning. And that's just sad.

He calls Finn twenty minutes before he's ready to leave, and he totally wakes Finn up from his nap. He sounds sleepy and drowsy and so fucking adorable that Kurt wants to hug him.

This crush is getting ridiculous.

He waves at his dad as he leaves and syncs up his dance party mix on his IPod as he pulls out of the driveway. Finn's waiting on his front porch when Kurt pulls up to his house.

He looks really hot. Kurt lets himself check Finn out as he bounds up to the car, his tight button up shirt is clinging to his chest and the sleeves are rolled up, showing off his arms. His dark jeans make his ass look fabulous. Kurt's trying not to drool as Finn pulls himself into the SUV. This is such a bad idea. He's always bad at keeping himself in check when he drinks. He just needs to remember to not drink too much because he's driving and because he needs to not make an ass out of himself.

"You look fabulous." So much for keeping himself under control. He's not even drunk yet!

"Thanks! My, uh, ex picked it out. I dunno, she said it made my eyes look good? Girls are weird. I don't really get how a shirt makes my eyes look good."

Kurt was thinking more, _it makes you look hot as hell_, but that's not the kind of thing one guy says to a straight dude, especially when one has a crush on the guy in question.

"I hear ya. Let's get you good and drunk."

The bar is nothing like any place he's been to in New York, but it's got a decent DJ and the bartender serves them drinks that are half the price of anything he's ever bought in the city. He approves of cheap booze.

"I approve of cheap booze," he announces.

Finn grins at him over his drink and nudges Kurt's leg with his foot. "See, that's one point for Lima. Cheap booze."

Kurt raises an eyebrow as he takes a sip of his drink. "What do you mean, point for Lima?"

Finn shrugs and stirs his drink with the straw in his cup. It's some weird pink color and it has a little umbrella in it. Finn didn't even bat an eye when he ordered it. Kurt's pretty sure he just did it to make him laugh. "Just, you're gonna go back to New York soon, right?"

Kurt leans on his hand. "Not sure. Another month or so, probably. My dad's doing pretty well."

Finn nods. "I'm just gonna miss you, I guess."

Kurt swallows. Finn's staring in the bottom of his glass, stirring his drink. Kurt knows he's just saying this because Finn doesn't have a lot of friends left in Lima and he's stuck in a shitty job.

"You know, you're not stuck here. You can always move too."

Finn shrugs, finally looking up at Kurt. "I'm pretty much destined to be a Lima Loser for life."

Kurt's quiet for a minute, glancing around the bar. There's a few people dancing, but mostly everyone is sitting around tables. It's quiet for a Friday night, but it's still kind of early.

"Look, I'm not gonna keep arguing with you about this, but you're not a Lima Loser. I just wish you'd stop being so down on yourself."

"You're leaving in another month, what do you care?"

Kurt raises an eyebrow and kicks Finn's leg.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Because, it's my duty as your friend to tell you when you're being a whiny bastard. Newsflash: You're acting like a whiny bastard. Your life is hard? So is everyone else's in this town. You told me all through high school you were getting out of this town. What happened? Because I think that kid who has bigger ambitions than this town is still in there. You're just too scared to pursue it."

Finn scowls. "I'm not as smart as you, okay? I just...I grew up. It's not easy to get out of this town."

"Uh-uh, sweetie. This is giving up, not growing up. Okay, listen to me. I gave up a perfect job to come back here. Do you realize I could've had enough cash to start my own line in another six months? I had the perfect connections there. And I had to walk away from it and lord knows if I'll actually get that back when I go back to the city. But instead of whining about it, I'm gonna fix it."

Finn plays with his drink, twirling the umbrella in his hand. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." Kurt waves at the bartender and orders a glass of water. "So, stop your complaining and do something."

Finn leans his head against his fist and stares at Kurt. Kurt can feel his face flush as Fin stares at him. "Alright. I'll do something about it."

"Good. Now can you hurry up and get drunk already?"

Finn waves over the bartender and orders another drink, winking at Kurt when he asks for another umbrella.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

He wakes up early on Saturday to go into work for a couple of hours before he meets up with Finn for lunch. It's not his favorite way to spend a Saturday morning, going into work and going through paperwork. But the prospect of lunch with Finn is his favorite way to spend a Saturday, so he'll deal.

Kurt feels ridiculous. Here he is, 23 and acting like he has his first crush. It's Finn fucking Hudson. The guy was his first crush, the first guy who didn't care if he was gay and didn't mind if Kurt had more than friendly feelings toward him. Finn's never going to reciprocate his feelings and that's fine, but being back in Lima and being around Finn all the time is fucking with him. It's like the guy turns him into a teenager all over again and it's kind of embarrassing.

"You're not fifteen anymore." Kurt rests his head on the desk and pouts. His life is hard.

He's just about done sorting invoices when there's a knock on the office door. He glances up and Finn's standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and grinning.

"Workin' hard?"

Kurt rolls his eyes and rests his ass on the edge of the desk. "Yeah, something you know nothing about."

Finn sits down on the edge of the desk next to Kurt, banging his feet. "Yeah, yeah. You ready? I'm starvin'."

"You're always starving. Help me file this shit and then we can get out of here."

Finn grumbles a little, but helps Kurt file away. It's quiet for a few minutes before Finn speaks up.

"Hey Kurt?"

"Hmm?" Kurt looks over at Finn from the desk.

"Did you have a lot of boyfriends? Like when you were at school and stuff?"

Kurt blinks a few times. Finn's still filing away, not looking at him.

"What's a lot?" Kurt swallows. "I had a couple of boyfriends, yeah."

Finn nods and glances over at Kurt. "Was it serious?"

Kurt shrugs. "Yeah. A couple of times it was serious. I almost moved in with my last boyfriend."

"What happened?" Finn picks at the edge of the filing cabinet.

"It just didn't work. We both realized that we were just kinda going through the motions, I guess. When we started talking about living together, I realized I wasn't crazy in love with him. You know? And I always wanted that when I settled down. True love and all that. It's kind of silly but..."

"It's not silly." Finn shrugs. "I've never really felt like that about anyone."

Kurt blinks a couple times. "Really? Not anyone?"

Finn sighs and crosses his arms against his chest, staring down at the floor. "Haven't really been together with anyone long enough. I thought maybe my last girlfriend might've been. She was awesome and she should've been my perfect woman, you know? But I just kept thinking maybe I'm missing out on something else."

Kurt pushes his hair out of his face. "Maybe you're just scared?"

"You ever feel that way about anyone?"

_You mean besides you?_ "The first boyfriend I had in college." Kurt sighs a little. "It was one of those whirlwind things. Like everything he did was the best and he never did anything wrong and he was the most perfect boy ever. And it wasn't like a high school romance, you know? It was college and we were grown ups. Or we thought so, anyway."

"What happened?"

"We both grew up." Kurt shrugs. "Suddenly all that stuff that's so awesome when you're barely out of high school isn't really all that great when you're trying to juggle an apartment and school and a job."

Finn nods and starts picking at the paint on the filing cabinet.

"What's with the twenty questions?" Kurt raises an eyebrow at Finn.

Finn just shrugs. "Dunno. Your dad used to tell me all the stuff you got up to at school, but he didn't really talk about...you know."

"Boyfriends?" Kurt smirks. "Yeah, he's still not good with all that. I mean, he's not trying to change me or anything. I just think it's still kind of weird for him."

Finn nods and glances back over at him. "I guess I just got kinda curious. You don't really talk about that stuff."

"It's not like I have any heartbreaking stories to tell. Besides, all that shit I used to get all worked up over seems a lot less important since I got that phone call."

Finn smiles softly. "Guess it kinda changes things?"

_Oh, you don't even know._ Except Finn does, and that just makes Kurt like him even more than he already does.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt's cell rings in the middle of one of his dad's workers ranting and raving that Burt isn't back and that Kurt's still running the place. Kurt's not even hiding the fact that he's annoyed and almost does a little dance of glee when the phone rings.

"I really have to take this. It could be an emergency." He gives the guy a smile and pushes him out of the office, slamming the door behind him. "Ugh."

"Mercedes! You called!"

He hears her giggling over the other end of the line. "It took you awhile to answer. You got a boy there or something?"

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Of course not, sweetie."

Mercedes sobers. "How's your dad?"

Kurt flops down in the chair behind the desk and crosses his legs. "He's better. I think he's ready to kick me outta the house though."

"Something happen?"

"Oh no, he's just sick of being stuck on the couch. He's still only part time. His culinary talents have vastly improved though. It's actually edible now."

Mercedes laughs again. "So, I have some time off coming up..."

"Oh, life as a big star isn't as exciting as little old Lima? You just can't stay away, can you?"

"Oh, you know, Lima just drags you back in." Mercedes clucks her tongue. "Anyway, how much longer you gonna be there?"

"Mm, couple of weeks. My dad's been working part time for the last couple of weeks, so once he's ready to go back for full time, I'm going back to the city. But I, uh, I promised Finn's mom I'd be at her wedding. So I'll probably go back after Mrs. Hudson gets married."

Mercedes is quiet for a few moments. "Kurt..."

"I know, I know. But she invited me and she's really nice and..."

"And Finn probably looked at you with those dopey eyes of his and you agreed to anything. C'mon Kurt! I thought you were over this!"

"It's not like that! Well, maybe a little. But he's my friend, and he's not interested in me like...that. And his mom really is nice. I couldn't say no."

Mercedes sighs. "Alright. I just hate seeing you go through all this again."

Kurt can't help but smile. "Look at you. A big star and worrying about little ol' me."

Mercedes laughs. "Sweetie, I'm always gonna worry about you. Besides, you have the best boy stories."

"I do, don't I?"

"So when is this big wedding?"

Kurt laughs. "I knew it, you totally want to go."

"Well, if I'm gonna be in town anyway, you'll need someone to keep an eye on you. Make sure you don't do anything drastic."

"And when have I done anything drastic?"

"I remember a time when you dressed Rachel like a baby hooker. Because of a boy. And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Kurt scowls. "I was nice to her after that. So does this mean you'll be my date?"

"Of course. Except you'll have to find an outfit that matches mine, sweetcakes. I'm not buying a whole new dress just because it clashes with your outfit."

"Deal."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Finn sits across from Kurt, tapping his finger against the top of the table. Kurt raises an eyebrow at him over his menu before he folds it and places it on the table.

"Okay, what's with you? You're kind of giving me the creeps." Finn's been weird ever since Kurt picked him up for dinner that night.

"What?" Finn jerks his hand and almost takes out his glass of water. Kurt reaches over and moves the glass just out of Finn's reach, and Finn's face steadily flushes.

"What is up with you? You've been weird all day."

"What? No I haven't. I'm totally normal."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Sweetie, first of all, you are not normal. Just deal with it and get over it. And secondly, this," Kurt waves his hand. "This is not what you're usually like. What's up?"

Finn glances around the restaurant. It's nicer than the places they usually go, low lighting and the menu's a little more expensive than Finn's normal taste. Kurt just figured it was Finn trying to be nice and let Kurt go somewhere nice for a change. Finn's even wearing a shirt and tie.

It's stupidly hot. It's that same tie and shirt he wore when he was trying to impress Quinn's parents and it's kind of endearing. Like he's trying to look good for Kurt or something, except he's not, because Kurt's just his friend. Still, Kurt can totally appreciate Finn looking nice.

"What are you having? I don't know, I'm kinda in the mood for steak, but the veal looks good, but I don't know, what do you think?"

Kurt folds his hands and studies Finn for a minute. Finn's playing with his tie, looking around nervously.

Clearly Finn's got something going on, some kind of mini drama that Kurt's not so sure he wants to get in the middle of. Kurt goes with what's easiest.

"Sweetie, it's an Italian restaurant. Get the veal. Personally, their lasagna is to fucking die for. Seriously, you won't get lasagna this good in the city."

Finn stares at him for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter. He slams his hand on the table a few times and Kurt wonders if Finn maybe took some drugs before he left for this dinner.

"Oh, man, thanks for that." Finn shakes his head and grabs his glass of water, taking a long drink before setting the glass back on the table.

"Right, anyway. Is your mom totally freaking out yet?" The wedding is getting closer and Kurt ran into Finn's mom three days ago, saw her when he was in mall trying to figure out what he was going to buy her. To say Finn's mom was freaked would be an understatement.

"She's a little crazy, man. Like her eyes are always like this." Finn widens his eyes and looks around, and Kurt can't help but giggle. "And she yelled at me the other day for breathing too loud. It was scary."

"Watch it, she might catch _Lima Syndrome_."

Finn looks confused. "What's that?"

Kurt smirks. "It's when a female, currently habituating in Lima, Ohio, goes completely insane for no reason. It's a phenomenon exclusive to Lima. Even women living elsewhere aren't as crazy as they are here. Even Rachel was sane when she was in New York. You know, relatively speaking."

"So, it's just something in the water then?"

"Well clearly. It's the only thing that explains why women go crazy when they get here. I'm serious, Rachel was almost normal when I saw her in New York."

Finn blinks a few times. "So it's a real thing? Like Lima really makes girls crazy?"

Kurt giggles and pours himself another glass of wine. Finn's still blinking at him, totally confused.

Kurt shakes his head, taking a long sip of wine. At least now, Finn isn't looking around the restaurant like he's got something to hide. His cheeks are still a little red but he's relaxed again. "You ready for the big day?"

"Oh! Yeah, well sorta. I mean, I don't have anything to wear yet, but I'm ready."

Kurt gapes at him. "You don't have a tux yet? Does your mother know that?"

Finn opens and closes his mouth. "Why would she need to know that?"

"Oh sweetie. _Oh sweetie_. The wedding is two weeks away and you don't have your tux yet? Do you want your mother to string you up and leave you for random wild life to chew on in the night? You should just get your tombstone ready, because she is gonna kill you when she finds out."

"I still have time. Like lots of time."

Kurt shakes his head. "We need to take care of that immediately. You're free tomorrow, right?"

"It's Saturday. I sleep in on Saturdays. Till like one. It's awesome."

"Not tomorrow. Trust me, you'll thank me." Kurt grabs his menu and looks it over again. "And just for that, I'm getting another bottle of wine. My god, I can't believe you don't have a tux yet." He folds his menu and resists the urge and faceplant onto the table.

"What? Why do I need one now? The wedding isn't for another two weeks."

"I thought you had at least some kind of clue about women, since you've been dating them for so long."

"Girls are confusing." Finn gets that look on his face again, the look he had when Kurt came by to pick him up.

The waiter comes by to take their order and Finn changes the subject when he leaves with the menus. It's totally weird, but Kurt learned a long time ago not to push Finn when he's like this.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Finn obviously didn't take Kurt's plans seriously, because he's passed out in his bed when Kurt comes by early the next morning. Finn's mom just lets Kurt in and tells him where Finn is before running out the door to work.

"Finn." Kurt pokes his arm. "Finn."

Finn bats his hand away and turns away towards the window, moaning a little. His hair sticks out from underneath the blankets. It's pretty cute.

"Finnnnn." Kurt nudges Finn with his foot. "Time to wake up."

"Nguhhh." Finn turns his head towards Kurt, eyes still closed. "Early."

"It's really early. I brought coffee. Get up."

Finn lifts his head up and blinks sleepily. "What?"

Kurt rolls his eyes and sits on the edge of the bed. He waves the cardboard tray over Finn's head. "Sweet, delicious coffee," he singsongs. "So tasty and yummy..."

Finn groans and sits up, wiping his eyes sleepily. His hair is all over the place and Kurt hasn't wanted to kiss someone this badly in...god, he doesn't even know how long. He just wants to curl into bed with Finn and snuggle.

Christ.

"Sleepy." Finn blinks a couple times and rubs his eyes again. "Time issit?"

Kurt glances at the clock next to Finn's bed. "Nine AM sharp. C'mon, you got an hour to get up and get dressed."

"Too early." Finn wipes his mouth. "Sleep."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "It's not that early."

Finn flushes. "I was playing video games till 2."

Kurt pulls Finn out of bed and pushes him towards the shower. "One day you'll grow up and be a real boy."

"I don't think so!" Finn shouts through the bathroom door.

Kurt sits at Finn's desk, going through emails on his phone. He's still waiting to hear back on a couple of jobs he's applied for back in the city, hoping he can move back right after the wedding. Part of him, the stupid part of him, really wants to stay in Lima. But he knows what he wants is in New York, even if he has to leave Finn.

There's one email back from one magazine, a job that's even better pay than what he had before. He glances out into the hallway before opening it up and he's got half a reply typed when Finn steps back into his room. Finn's toweling his hair dry, half dressed and grinning.

"You said something about coffee?"

Kurt tries not to swallow his tongue as Finn wipes off his chest and pulls on a t-shirt, before Kurt hands over his coffee.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt really should've rethought this whole thing through before he dragged Finn out to try on tuxedos. He totally sweet-talked the owner into a last minute fitting, though there isn't a lot of call for tux rentals in Lima.

"I don't know." Finn frowns in the mirror, playing with the edges of the jacket he's wearing. The cut is classic and forms his frame almost perfectly. It's just a bit little big, hanging off his shoulders the sleeves stopping right at his wrists. The color of the vest underneath isn't quite right though.

Kurt frowns and goes through a couple other options. The color does nothing for him and it's going to clash with the rest of the wedding colors.

"Try this one." Kurt hands another one over and watches as Finn shrugs the jacket off and drops it onto a nearby chair. Kurt has to rest his fingers on his lips as Finn pulls the vest off, the sight of Finn getting undressed too hot for words. It's a little too close to the fantasy he used to have in high school, after all those Glee competitions and Finn hanging out afterwards, with his shirt all untucked and unbuttoned...

He needs to get a hold of himself.

"Well?" Finn smoothes down the vest, looking down at himself. "What do you think?"

Kurt swallows and walks over to him, grabbing a tie that matches the vest. He ties a tight knot and gives Finn a nervous smile as he pats his chest. He hands Finn the jacket, still standing a little close. Finn's staring down at him, holding the jacket in his hand.

"Kurt..."

He smiles nervously at Finn and takes a couple steps back. He turns to face the mirror and fixes his hair to distract himself, and tries very, very hard not to watch Finn in the mirror. He can hear Finn let out a little sigh before he hears fabric rustling. He glances over at Finn as he buttons his jacket and holding out his arms.

"You look great. I think that's the one." Oh, Jesus, is it the one.

Finn studies him for a minute, biting his bottom lip. "Kurt..."

"You know what, I'm starving. We should get lunch. I'll go get the paperwork and you can go change."

Kurt doesn't look over at Finn, just hears a grunt of approval and hightails it to the front register to get Finn's rental paperwork. He fills it out for him just for the distraction and he's relieved when Finn comes back from the dressing room, wearing his ratty jeans and a t-shirt that's got holes near the hem.

He's still hot as hell though and Kurt wants him just as badly as he did when Finn was in the tux. No, he wants him more.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt's not hiding. He's not. He's simply locked himself in his dad's office because he had an interview for a job he hopes he can get. And the garage is too noisy today for him to handle. He's not ignoring any other calls to his cell and he's not having his dad answer the office phone instead of himself. He's totally not ignoring phone calls from one person in particular.

He's just not up for dealing with any disappointment from Finn. He's been acting weird and awkward for the last couple of weeks, and Kurt doesn't want to end his time here in Lima with a weird conversation between the two of them. He just wants to go to this wedding, wish Finn's mom good luck and then move back to the city, hopefully keeping some sort of contact with Finn. At least more than before. He really wants to stay friends if he can't have anything else.

Kurt ignores the knock on the office door. He crosses his legs and scrolls through his emails, deleting whatever he doesn't need. His dad grunts at him, giving him a stink eye from across the room.

"Would you answer the damn door?"

Kurt bites at his lip and gets up. When he opens the office door, Finn's standing on the other side, playing with the bottom of his t-shirt and smiling awkwardly.

"Hey. Hey, Mr. Hummel." Finn waves. "Can you, I mean. Are you busy?"

Kurt opens his mouth but his dad talks before he can get a word out.

"Please take him away. He's been pacing all day. And his phone keeps making stupid little noises. I'm trying to work here."

Kurt sighs and glares over at his dad. He grabs his bag and follows Finn out into the garage. He walks quickly, Finn skipping a little to keep up with him even though he's got a few good inches on Kurt.

"Hey! Did I do something?"

Kurt drags him out to his car and throws his stuff into the backseat. He turns to look at Finn, twisting his fingers together. "Of course not. I'm just stressed about finding employment." And trying to not show how he's still stupidly head over heels for Finn.

"You're sure? 'Cause you've been kinda weird."

Kurt shakes his head. "I'm just getting nervous about moving back. Sorry if I've been all weird."

Finn glances around, shuffling his feet. "Uh, so look, you doing anything tonight? My mom's working the late shift tonight so I thought maybe...we could get pizza or something? Watch some crappy movies?"

Kurt can't think of a reason to say no so he just unlocks the passenger door. "Maybe I'll even have a beer."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Things are less weird after they've eaten and had a couple of drinks. Finn's relaxed and he looks like he actually slept the night before. He's still acting not quite like Finn though, staring at Kurt not so subtly through the movie they threw on for background noise. And he keeps inching closer to Kurt on the couch.

It's weird. This is very unlike Finn behavior.

Kurt gets up from the couch to get another set of beers. He pops the tops off in the kitchen, tossing the caps into the trash. He takes a deep breath before walking back into the living room. He hands one over to Finn and sits down at the end of the couch. He crosses his legs at the knee and glances over at Finn as he takes a sip of his beer. Finn gives him a nervous smile before inching closer.

"Okay, I'll bite. What the hell is going on?" Kurt drops his beer on the coffee table. "You've been acting weird for ages now."

Finn places his own bottle of beer on the table. He plays with the label, not looking at Kurt.

"Seriously, is everything okay? 'Cause you're starting to worry me."

Finn glances over at him and shifts even closer on the couch. He lifts his hand up and stills for a moment before placing his hand on Kurt's chin and tilting his face upward.

"I, uh..." Finn leans down and kisses Kurt, his eyes fluttering shut. Kurt makes a surprised noise, not moving as Finn kisses him. His mouth opens slightly and all he can taste is beer and pizza.

It's not the most romantic kiss in the world. It's not even the best kiss he's ever had. Finn's lips are dry and he tastes like cheap beer and...

Kurt tells his brain to shut the fuck up because Finn fucking Hudson is kissing him. He drops his hand on Finn's thigh and inches closer, letting Finn deepen the kiss. He slides his tongue into Kurt's mouth, sliding even closer on the couch. Kurt moans a little. Finn pushes him backwards, until Kurt's laid out across the couch with Finn laying on top of him.

God, it's so sexy, Finn's weight pressing him down and his hands warm on Kurt's skin. It's like everything he fantasized about except it's _real_. He can feel the shape of Finn's cock against his thigh and he moans, thinking about getting it in his mouth, in his hand. He doesn't care as long as he gets to have it.

All of a sudden the TV starts blaring, the movie starting back up again. Kurt groans and reaches underneath him, grabbing the remote and turning the movie off.

But it's too late. Finn's already scrambled off of him, standing next to the couch and wiping his face.

"Oh, god."

Finn looks around the room wildly, his hand on his mouth. He's looking everywhere but at Kurt and Kurt can't ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Look, Finn...."

"Oh, god. What was..."

Kurt shakes his head and gets off the couch. He fixes his shirt and tries not to cry or glare or yell at Finn. "That was a kiss. A pretty good one. Until you freaked the hell out."

"That was. Oh, god, I actually. Oh god. I kissed another dude."

That, that makes Kurt's stomach drop. He's done the straight boy, oh shit I'm not gay, bullshit and he's over it. He's not dealing with this shit again, even if it's Finn. The same guy who's supported him over the last few months, even if it's the guy he's been in love with since he was 15. He can't take this from _Finn_ of all people.

"Okay, since you clearly regret this whole thing and can't deal with your sudden sexual crisis, I'm going to leave before you take it out on me."

Kurt runs past Finn, knocking his arm as he walks by.

"Wait, Kurt."

"No," Kurt interrupts. "I've been through this before. And I can't deal with you turning me down. I just, I can't do it all over again. Call me when you're, you know, you again. I'll see you at the wedding."

Kurt tries not to slam the door behind him when he leaves and drives home in silence.

Finn Fucking Hudson, breaking his heart all over again. It's like he's 16 again except this time there's no pregnant Quinn and no Puck shoving him into trashcans, just Kurt and his stupid, stupid heart.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt's really nervous during the last few days leading up to Finn's mom's wedding. He tries not to throw up as he gets dressed, trying to decide between the ties he managed to scrounge up a few weeks earlier. It's not as nice as anything he has back in New York but it'll do for the wedding. Plus, it's helpful to focus on his clothes and not the feeling in the pit of his stomach that makes him want to lose his breakfast.

Mercedes knocks on the front door twenty minutes before they're supposed to leave.

"Oh, sweetie, you look like a mess." Mercedes makes a face and tugs on his tie. "C'mon, it's a good thing I got here early." She pulls him back down towards his room, waving at his dad as they walk through the living room.

"Calm him down, would you?" His dad nods at Mercedes.

"Already on it, Mr. Hummel."

Mercedes drags him downstairs and flicks the light on in his room. She turns to look at him, hands on his hips. "Okay, what happened? Because the last time we talked, you weren't all," she waves her hand in front of him. "Not like this."

Kurt shrugs and walks towards his bathroom, flipping the light on and standing in front of the mirror. Mercedes follows him inside, fixing her hair in the mirror before she leans against the bathroom sink, her arms crossed against her chest. She raises an eyebrow.

"I may have, um. Made out with Finn a couple days ago."

Her eyebrows go all the way up to her bangs. "You did what?"

He clears his throat and looks back in the mirror, fixing his hair and trying not to meet Mercedes eyes. "We kissed. I think there were tongues involved."

"Do not tell me you were drunk when this happened." Mercedes reaches out and grabs his chin, turning his face towards hers.

"No! We were relatively sober. It just...I don't know, it just happened." Kurt pulls away and leans against the sink next to her, hands resting on the edge of the sink. "He just leaned over and kissed me."

"Holy shit." Mercedes lets out a long breath.

Kurt shrugs and picks at his fingernails, ruining his perfect manicure.

"Oh no. Kurt, sweetie. Why did you let it happen?"

Kurt pushes away from the sink, hands in the air. "Why do you think I let it happen? I've been in love with him since I was 15 years old! He just looks at me and I lose any coherent thoughts in my head! What was I supposed to do?"

Mercedes sighs and reaches out to grab his hand. "I know. But Kurt, I don't want you to get hurt over this. I can't watch this all over again."

Kurt nods and leans against the sink next to her again, resting his head against her shoulder. They're quiet for a few minutes before Kurt says, "I like your dress." It's deep purple and hugs her curves, the color making her glow a little.

Mercedes laughs and pulls away, spinning in her dress a little. "Isn't it great? I could get used to this whole selling a ton of records, being famous thing."

"If only for the clothes?" Kurt grins. "Well, sweetie, you look fabulous. Actually, you look better than I do." Kurt turns back towards the mirror and picks up his moisturizer. "My skin has been terrible ever since I moved back here."

Mercedes takes the tube from him and squeezes some out onto her finger, tipping his head back. He stays still as she applies the cream to his skin, and he turns to look in the mirror when she's done, making sure it's applied equally. He sprays his hair again and turns to look back at her.

"So, what do you think?"

Mercedes holds her hands out. "I think you look great."

Mercedes is quiet on the ride over, playing with his IPod and playing a bunch of old showtunes. He still loves to hear her sing, even though it's been years since they were in Glee together and now she's a big star. She turns the radio down as they get closer to the site and turns to look at him.

"Promise me you won't make a scene."

Kurt gives her a little smile. "Sweetie, who do you think I am, Rachel?"

&amp;&amp;&amp;

It's a pretty typical, low budget Ohio wedding. But Finn's mom looks really happy and Finn looks even happier as he stands up there next to his mom, tugging at the bottom of his sleeves. Kurt hates himself for helping Finn pick out the tux, because it clings to him perfectly, hugging his shoulders and arms and making him look amazing. Halfway through the ceremony, Finn glances over at him, brilliant smile on his face and Kurt feels his stomach drop.

Mercedes holds his hand through the whole ceremony and Kurt's so glad she came with him. Half the crowd is glancing over at her, like they can't believe someone that famous is here at some backyard wedding. Afterwards, they drive over to the reception and Mercedes doesn't say anything, just belts along with the radio.

Their table is near the front, because Kurt's helped plan half the thing anyway. In fact, he's pretty sure Finn's mom would've made him be in the wedding if she thought he'd actually say yes, but that was just way too awkward for him.

Finn's mom comes by their table first, pulling Kurt out of his chair and hugging him tightly. She whispers something into his ear about him and Finn, and he looks at her with wide eyes when he pulls away. She winks and turns to Mercedes. Kurt turns to watch Finn, sitting next to some girl, their heads low as they talk. He swallows and looks away, waving at Finn's mom as she leaves the table.

"Let's dance." Mercedes holds her hand out and pulls him away from the table, and far away from the front table so he can sit and stare at Finn.

"I'm sorry, I'm not the best date ever, am I?" Kurt spins her around.

Mercedes shrugs and spins Kurt around this time, grinning at him when he stops. "I get it. It's Finn Hudson, he's always made you stupid."

"Well, I'm just glad I have you around to remind me how ridiculous I am." Kurt hugs her close as they dance.

They dance close through the slow song, Kurt's eyes wandering around the room as they sway together. If he was with anyone else, they'd be pissed that he was still all tied up over Finn, but it's Mercedes. She's famous and rich and successful, but she still gets him like no one else ever did.

The song ends and Mercedes pulls back. She smirks as she fixes her dress before looking up at Kurt. "How do I look?"

Kurt fixes the strap of her dress. "Like a rock star."

"Good! I was going for that look." Mercedes tosses her hair over her shoulder and winks as she turns to walk over to the DJ.

This was one of those things that sounded brilliant when he talked to Mercedes two weeks before the wedding, trying to do something special for Finn's mom. Now he has to sit and listen to this romantic song and think about all the things he'll never get to have.

He glances over at Finn and that girl again, except they're not at the front table anymore. He looks around the room and spots them together on the edge of the dance floor. He really can't watch this, the two of them dancing with Mercedes singing in the background.

He grabs another drink from the bartender and hightails it out to the porch. He can still hear Mercedes and now he's really regretting the song choice because it's kind of disgustingly romantic.

Damn his awesome ideas.

It was a bad idea to come here and an even worse idea to stay this long. He checks his phone for the time and wonders if it's possible to convince Mercedes to take off. Then again, with her up there singing, chances are, Finn's mom is going to make them have some kind of embarrassing Glee reunion and he is not down with singing cheesy songs for the rest of the night. He needs to keep some of his dignity.

"Kurt?" The porch door opens and Kurt glances over. Finn's sticking his head out, looking around for Kurt. He grins widely when he spots Kurt standing in the corner.

"What's up?" Kurt drops his glass on the railing and crosses his arms against his chest.

Finn leans against the railing next to him, resting his hands and standing close to Kurt. His arm brushes against Kurt's and Kurt shifts away, coughing into his hand.

"Dude, you okay?"

"I'm fine. Shouldn't you be in there with your date?"

Finn shrugs and looks away. He stretches his fingers out and Kurt watches as they brush against his own. It's too much.

"Finn..."

"I really like you, okay?"

Kurt pulls back, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

Finn crosses his arms against his chest, staring down at the ground. "I really like you. Like. More than friends. That's why I..."

"Kissed the hell outta me?"

Finn blushes. "Yeah, I guess." He glances up at Kurt and looks away quickly. "Anyway, I didn't want to...you know, like force you into anything. I just thought maybe...anyway, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it."

Kurt reaches out before thinking better of actually touching Finn, and clenches his fist against his side instead. "What about that girl in there? Your date?"

Finn shrugs.

Kurt sighs and grabs his drink. "Sweetie, I don't know what you're trying to tell me. You like me, fine. I can't deal with the straight boy bullshit again. I did it in college, I'm not doing it again."

"I didn't mean to make it seem like..."

"You did."

Finn opens and closes his mouth a few times, and the porch door opens. They both look over and Finn's date is standing there, hands on her hips. She has a soft smile on her face. "Hey Finn, your mom is asking for you."

Finn glances over at Kurt. Kurt pushes away from the railing and walks away from him, towards the door. "I gotta take off anyway." He waves at Finn's date. "You look amazing, by the way."

He glances at Finn again and he heads back inside and to find Mercedes surrounded by half the reception hall. He waves at her and stalks over to the bar, ordering another drink that he drains quickly. She walks up to him at the bar a few minutes later, leaning against the wood and waving off the bartender.

"Can we please go?" Kurt tries not to pout and Mercedes just wraps her arm around his shoulders and waits as he pays the bartender.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Kurt faceplants into the couch and moans. He hears his dad laugh softly before easing his feet up on the coffee table.

"You shouldn't put your feet up on the table." Kurt turns his head to look at his dad. "You're going to ruin the finish."

His dad shakes his head but pulls his feet off the table. He leans forward, his hands clasped between his legs. He rubs his thumbs together for a minute before he starts talking.

"You know, your mother would be so much better at this than I am. She'd know just what to say." His dad shakes his head.

"Dad, I think I'm a little old for this talk." Kurt sits up, pulling his tie off and dropping it on the coffee table. He rubs his eyes, glancing at the clock and inwardly groaning at the late hour.

"Well, I'm gonna give it to you anyway." His dad sighs.

"Look, Dad. I'm really not in the mood for a lecture."

"Kurt, would you humor me? I never got to give you the dating speech." His dad laughs a little. "You were always so...smart. And independent. You never really needed me around."

"Yeah, I really did."

His dad gets out of his chair and walks out to the kitchen, coming back with a bottle of water. He hands it over to Kurt and sits back down, watching as Kurt uncaps the bottle and takes a long sip.

"Okay, Dad, you can give me the talk."

His dad laughs, flopping back in his seat. He rubs his forehead a little. "You should do what makes you happy. You always did, and I don't know what changed."

"I grew up."

His dad shakes his head. "You grew up a long time ago. You were takin' care of yourself back in high school. You always went after what you wanted...college, New York, I know you started, you know..."

"Dating." Kurt smirks.

"Yeah, that." His dad wipes his mouth, looking a little uncomfortable. "Look, don't let this go so easily, okay? I've seen the way that kid looks at you. Don't just walk away and be alone or settle for someone else."

"It's not that easy."

"Yeah it is. Do you think it was easy to get your mom to marry me?"

Kurt always wondered about that, what happened to make his parents get together. They were nothing alike at all. Weren't high school sweethearts, their families didn't know each other...it was the most random pairing, except he remembers that they were really, really happy together.

"Well, Dad, when you're dealing with a boy who's confused about his sexuality, it's a little different than getting a girl to like you."

His dad shrugs. "Maybe. But I've seen the two of you together. And man, you really make him happy. You know he used to stop by the garage to check up on you? Even when you were in high school, sometimes he'd just stop by to see if you were around."

"Oh." Kurt blinks. He never knew all that. Finn mentioned that he saw Kurt's dad, but he never really thought about it all that much. Finn actually made an effort to find out about what he was doing? How his life was?

"Yeah, so. Just give the guy a chance. Or, I don't know, just don't let him go so easy." His dad gets out of his chair. "And thanks for letting me, you know." His dad smiles at him fondly.

Kurt smiles. "Thanks for the advice, Dad. Really."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

He doesn't know what to do. He's leaving for New York in another week. This is it.

And even if he does go and confess his feelings, even if Finn admits to his feelings, then what? Finn's still got a whole other life in Lima. Kurt has a whole life in New York that he's not just going to drop that to move back here. Even if they admit they want each other, it's not going to go anywhere.

He's not going to ask Finn to move to New York and he's not moving back to Lima.

It doesn't explain why he's sitting outside of Finn's place, tapping the steering wheel nervously. He checks the time on his phone again before he makes a decision.

He stands at the front door, making sure his sweater is straight and his hair is perfect. Finn finally opens the door, blinking into the sun.

"Oh, it's you."

Kurt shifts awkwardly. "Can I...can we just talk?"

Finn stands in the doorway for a minute before he backs away and gives Kurt room to walk into the house. It's quiet; he knows Finn's mom and her new husband left for their honeymoon early that morning. He stops in front of the couch, wrapping his arms around his stomach and turning to face Finn.

Finn's standing in front of him, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. He looks like he's been crashed out on the couch all morning, cause there's a cup of coffee on the coffee table and the TV's on mute.

"I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions. I should've let you explain." Kurt plays with the sleeve of his sweater, smiling at Finn hopefully.

"It's okay," Finn says, voice quiet.

"I can't...I'm leaving for New York in a week. The last few months here, having to be back in this shithole has been...well it's actually been okay, because you're here. And I wanted to say thank you, for everything."

Finn nods, running his hand through his hair. "Is that it? 'Cause..."

"I'm still in love with you."

Finn blinks a few times, mouth opening and closing. "Look, Kurt..."

"No, listen," Kurt interrupts. "I was, I thought I was in love with you back in high school. And I always, I mean, you were the one that I could never have, you know? But then I came back here, and you helped with my dad and...it's different. And you weren't just my friend and you weren't just this guy I had feelings for..."

He trails off. There, it's all out in the open. He's put it all out there and whether or not Finn feels the same way, at least he's finally said something.

"I'm...I'm really confused." Finn swallows and sinks down onto the couch. He rubs his face. "I never felt about anyone...when you left Lima for school...I don't know, it just hurt. And then you came back and I remembered you were just gonna leave again." Finn looks up at him. "I don't want you to leave."

Kurt swallows. "I'm not staying in Lima. I can't. I have a whole life, my whole future. I'm not giving that up. Not even..."

Finn nods and looks down at his hands, clasped between his legs. "I know. I couldn't ask you...I'm not gonna ask you to stay." He laughs a little, sadly. "I'm not gonna ask you to stay in Lima. You were always gonna get out of here." Finn looks up at him.

Kurt takes a deep breath. "If, I mean. I'll be in New York. If you ever..."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Finn nods, scratching the back of his head. "Hey, I really need to shower and stuff..."

"Oh, I have errands to run." Kurt glances at his watch. "I better get going. I just-"

"Thanks. For everything." Finn gets up from the couch and rests his hand on Kurt's chest. "It was good to see you again."

Kurt leaves Lima a few days later, suitcase and cell in hand. He thumbs through his contacts and pauses over Finn's name, wavering. He groans and turns his cell off, tossing it into his bag.

This totally sucks, but he knows deep down that he's making the right choice.

It just really fucking _hurts_.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

The next two months suck.

A lot.

It was easier the first time, not knowing the real Finn, not knowing what his kisses were like, how he felt wrapped around Kurt. It was easier when he was just this little fantasy in Kurt's head that he was never going to live up to.

Now that he's had the fantasy, seen what's it's really like...it's pretty much not fair that he doesn't get to have what he wants.

He sighs and crosses the street, pulling his hat down further on his head. The weather is changing, getting cooler and the leaves are starting to change color. It's been two months since he's talked to Finn last - not because he's pissed but because it's too hard. They tried talking once he moved back to the city, but all Kurt could think the whole time was _want want want_ and he couldn't stand it. He started avoiding Finn's phone calls and texts until Finn just stopped trying.

Two solid months. He can't even look at other guys anymore without comparing them to Finn.

He feels pathetic. His roommates keep making fun of him. Mercedes keeps texting him with sad-bastard music lyrics.

Well, not anymore. He's got to move on and be a person again. Shit happens and...

He stops in front of his building. His hands clutch the strap of his bag and he gapes openly.

"What are you doing here?"

Finn smiles, that big, stupid goofy grin of his and stands up. Kurt, honest to god, feels butterflies in his stomach. Great, he's a thirteen year old girl.

"Was kinda hoping I could crash with you for a little bit."

"Oh, yeah?" Kurt takes a couple steps forward, standing in front of Finn. "It's kind of a small place."

Finn shrugs. "I think I can deal with it. Though, we might want to get a bigger place."

"Uh, what?" Kurt's usually way more coherent than this.

"I got a job." Finn grins widely and bounces on his feet. "Back in Lima, I was helpin' Mr. Shue out after school with Glee, and he wrote me a recommendation. I got a job here in the city, helpin' out with some music programs. And I'm working part time in this garage till I can get back to school to finish my degree."

Kurt opens and closes his mouth a few times. "You're moving..." He glances down at Finn's feet, two duffle bags sitting on the ground.

"Well, I mean. If your offer is still open..." Finn frowns.

Kurt gapes. Finn's offering…

"I mean, I totally get it if you're already seeing someone and stuff. I just thought. I mean. Shit, this was a bad idea." Finn grabs his bags. "You know, I can totally leave, I'm sorry."

"Finn, wait," Kurt interrupts, grabbing his arm.

Finn stills, looking down at Kurt's hand on his arm. Kurt reaches up with his free hand and rests his palm against Finn's jaw, stroking his skin. "Of course the offer's still open."

Kurt takes a deep breath and leans up on his tip-toes. Finn leans down and meets him halfway, their mouths pressing together. Finn drops his bags on the ground and wraps his arms around Kurt's waist and everything gets a little fuzzy after that because all Kurt can focus on is _Finn's tongue in his mouth_.

He pulls away when he hears someone whistle from an upstairs apartment. Finn's flushing but he's got that goofy grin of his on his face and Kurt leans up and kisses him again. Finn's the one who breaks the kiss this time.

"So, uh, I can crash with you?"

Kurt grins and pulls his keys out of his bag. He unlocks the front door and grabs Finn's arm, pulling him inside.

"As long as you want to."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

**Epilogue** _(Four Months Later)_

"Finn! We're going to be late." Kurt taps his fingers against the kitchen counter. He hears a crash from the bedroom and winces as Finn tumbles out. He has his tie in one hand, his shirt half buttoned up and his hair is just tragic.

"Sorry, uh, crap." Finn almost falls on the floor, tripping over his shoes.

"Oh, sweetie." Kurt tuts and helps Finn straighten up on his feet. He takes the tie away from him and helps him over to the couch. He pushes Finn down and kneels over him, tying the tie around his neck. He pats the knot when he's done and kisses Finn on the cheek. "Calm down."

Finn sighs and wraps his hands around Kurt's waist. Kurt fixes Finn's hair, making it look less like he just got out of bed and more like he meant for his hear to look messy. He gives Finn a reassuring smile and slides his hands to rest at his neck.

"I'm sorry, it's just I'm really nervous."

"It's okay. But it's going to be fine." Kurt kisses him softly.

"What if..."

"Sweetie, listen." Kurt flops down on the couch next to Finn, tangling their fingers together. "My dad likes you. He's always liked you. He's totally on Team Kurt&amp;Finn."

Finn eyes him warily. "He's not going to kick my ass?"

Kurt grins. "Nope." Kurt leans over and presses his forehead against Finn's. "So would you stop worrying?"

Finn nods. "Sorry, I'm just really bad at the whole, meeting the parents thing."

"Well I guess it's a good thing you already know my dad." He glances at the clock over the T.V. "C'mon, we're gonna be late." He pulls Finn off the couch, grabbing his coat off the hook. He tosses Finn his coat and grabs his keys.

"Hey, Kurt?"

"Mmmm?" Kurt closes the door behind them and locks the door. He glances over at Finn.

"Senior year." Finn rubs the back of his neck nervously. "It was senior year."

"Uh, okay..."

"When you got all your college letters? And I realized you were leaving Lima for good. That's when I first. Well, when I first had like, feelings for you. 'Cause I didn't want you to leave."

Kurt drops his keys on the ground. "You-"

"Yeah, that was when I realized it. I just, you know. I thought you should know." Finn shrugs and gives him a small, nervous smile.

Kurt leans up and kisses Finn softly, twisting his fingers in Finn's coat. He feels Finn grin against his mouth and Kurt deepens the kiss for a minute before he pulls back. He slaps Finn on the arm.

"Ow! That hurt!"

Kurt grins. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

Finn shrugs. "Guess I was just confused. And you know. Kinda scared too, I guess."

"Oh, boys are so silly sometimes." Kurt shakes his head and kisses Finn again. He twines their fingers together and presses Finn against their apartment door. Finn moans a little and slides his fingers into Kurt's hair.

They're late meeting his dad because Kurt has to go back into the apartment to fix his hair, and they end up making out in the bathroom for ten minutes.

But it's okay, because while they're making out in the bathroom, Kurt murmurs into Finn's mouth, _I love you_.

And Finn says it back.


End file.
